I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
