Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
