is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
