this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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