I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
