It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
