He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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