Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
