Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
