How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
