PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
