I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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