I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
