Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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