so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
