I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
