is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
