im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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