Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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