Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
