the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
