Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
