can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
