The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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