quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
