Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
