Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
