I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize