omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize