drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
