Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i love accidental penises.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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