I'm lost and stupid without you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
