we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
