So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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