i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
