I hope mine doesn't look like that
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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