Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
