Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
