It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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