Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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