If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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