I don't think brook has ever known best
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
