So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
