I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
