i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
