Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
