Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
