I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
