There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.