Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
