I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
