I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
