she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
