An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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