next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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