i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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