shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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