she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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