Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
